Photography and Blackness
I love the shared language of our culture, something that would be invisible to anybody else without photography. It feels like, until recently, all of our history was only really visible in the records that we made ourselves, in our home videos and photo albums.
Dedicated to the world’s best dads
Not everybody is fortunate enough to have a father that they can confidently say loves them unconditionally. As one of the lucky ones, all I really ever wanted was for my own bub to feel the same way. Jack shows me every single day that I have less than nothing to worry about.
You gotta have friends but making new ones is a nightmare
One of things I’ve always wanted for Ramona was to be confident in her value and how wonderful she is to be around. I want her to shine in groups of people and be generous with her love and friendship - the exact opposite of how I’ve always been.
‘Gentle parenting’ is a deceptive title
What I’m learning as the mother of a toddler is that gentle parenting is not as easy as it sounds. Not even a little bit. In caring for my daughter’s emotional development, I’m having to confront some of my own emotional gaps; trying to understand while also making sure they don’t leave Ramona wanting. This shit is hard, basically.
World Breastfeeding Week 2022
In the 2 years since Ramona’s birth, breastfeeding has really changed for us but I’m clinging to the joy we still get from it knowing that the time will come where she no longer needs me in that way
Motherhood Moments 2 - Singing
I’m trying to remember all of the key motherhood milestones and singing my darling baby to sleep has to be one of the most important
Interrupting the plot
Trauma is an insidious noise that I always thought I had a control over, I thought I always knew where it was hiding, under which nerves it sheltered. And then I tried to request a birth debrief and I learned just how tight a grip it has on me
Benefits of Ramona getting older: writing
Watching Ramona become more independent is splendid and awful. During the splendid times, I see the opportunity to start pursuing the things that made me happy before losing all of my time to motherhood. Probably the most important thing I’m reclaiming is my writing.
Good Hair
As the mother of a mixed race daughter, I sometimes worry about the relationship she’ll have with her hair. As much as I love my own hair now, it has taken me years to break through societal preconceptions as well as my own personal issues with my appearance to get to this point
Love at First Sight
Love at first sight has always seemed like an entirely ludicrous premise, something made up to sell romance novels and movies. The concept isn’t something that rational, sensible people should believe in, right? But then something happens and all of a sudden you’re almost a believer…
Why I love being a Geriatric Mother
When my daughter turns 20, I will be 58. Some people find the idea of that horrific. But what mattered more to me than being a ‘young’ mum was being a mum that had her shit together. And so I’m proud to be a ‘geriatric mum’ because it means my daughter gets the very best version of me as a mother
Affectionate Black Mums: Where are you? (What I didn’t learn from The Cosby Show)
I come from a long line of hardworking, dedicated and fairly serious women. I wanted to be all of that for Ramona but I also wanted to be the clown and the play horse but I didn't know how
Let Them Eat Cake! Misconceptions when #raisinggirls
Let Them Eat Cake! How my own misconceptions about #raisinggirls almost totally misfired