“Things do not get better by being left alone”
Grief is a bastard. But you can help kick it in the nuts
Now who do you think you are, puttin’ your cheap two cents in?
Say it with me now: MIND YOUR BUSINESS!
#BLAW: Because I don’t want to
Proof that there isn't an occasion where Billie Piper references are inappropriate
#BLAW: Let those who love you love you
Letting people in can be a real bitch. But a necessary one.
I travel not to go anywhere, but to go
We have to find ways to break through. We have to.
Why this #BLAW means so much
Losing my baby has completely changed my world
guess who’s back (and then i found out i was pregnant and never posted this)
When my work as a freelance writer dried up, so did my desire to share my life here. The time away helped me realise how much of my value I attributed to work. What an idiot.
Photography and Blackness
I love the shared language of our culture, something that would be invisible to anybody else without photography. It feels like, until recently, all of our history was only really visible in the records that we made ourselves, in our home videos and photo albums.
Update
What covid took from us: number 458
This morning I received photographs of a beautiful, perfect new baby being held by his grandparents. Once the absolute joy faded, I could feel sadness rising out of nowhere and I couldn’t understand why. How could I be so delighted but also have this strange response - a grief that felt both selfish and misplaced?
Dedicated to the world’s best dads
Not everybody is fortunate enough to have a father that they can confidently say loves them unconditionally. As one of the lucky ones, all I really ever wanted was for my own bub to feel the same way. Jack shows me every single day that I have less than nothing to worry about.
You gotta have friends but making new ones is a nightmare
One of things I’ve always wanted for Ramona was to be confident in her value and how wonderful she is to be around. I want her to shine in groups of people and be generous with her love and friendship - the exact opposite of how I’ve always been.
‘Gentle parenting’ is a deceptive title
What I’m learning as the mother of a toddler is that gentle parenting is not as easy as it sounds. Not even a little bit. In caring for my daughter’s emotional development, I’m having to confront some of my own emotional gaps; trying to understand while also making sure they don’t leave Ramona wanting. This shit is hard, basically.
World Breastfeeding Week 2022
In the 2 years since Ramona’s birth, breastfeeding has really changed for us but I’m clinging to the joy we still get from it knowing that the time will come where she no longer needs me in that way
Motherhood Moments 2 - Singing
I’m trying to remember all of the key motherhood milestones and singing my darling baby to sleep has to be one of the most important
Interrupting the plot
Trauma is an insidious noise that I always thought I had a control over, I thought I always knew where it was hiding, under which nerves it sheltered. And then I tried to request a birth debrief and I learned just how tight a grip it has on me
Benefits of Ramona getting older: writing
Watching Ramona become more independent is splendid and awful. During the splendid times, I see the opportunity to start pursuing the things that made me happy before losing all of my time to motherhood. Probably the most important thing I’m reclaiming is my writing.
Bite Me
I let my daughter get away with lots of things. But one of the few things I won’t stand for is hurting people. And few things hurt more than having your nipples bitten.
Good Hair
As the mother of a mixed race daughter, I sometimes worry about the relationship she’ll have with her hair. As much as I love my own hair now, it has taken me years to break through societal preconceptions as well as my own personal issues with my appearance to get to this point
Love at First Sight
Love at first sight has always seemed like an entirely ludicrous premise, something made up to sell romance novels and movies. The concept isn’t something that rational, sensible people should believe in, right? But then something happens and all of a sudden you’re almost a believer…